Monday, January 21, 2013

Cars... the Spices of Life

Why do people buy cars? The obvious answer is because they add so much excitement to life. Just think about it... you're driving home from work. It's 15 degrees outside (or in today's case, -9!!!) and snowing/sleeting and you get a flat tire. And the best part is, you left your coat at home today.

Now, normally, you would go home (wearing your nice warm, thick, wool coat) and cuddle up on the couch with a cup of hot cocoa and watch tv until sleepiness took over your eyes. But not today! Today your car has provided you with a SURPRISE ADVENTURE in which you get to spend the next hour outside on the shoulder of the highway burning calories, learning how to survive the elements, and working every muscle in your body as you try to chip away at the iceberg that has attached itself to your tire. And what's even better is that these surprise adventures always seem to come at the perfect time... just when you're thinking to yourself, "Man, I'm really not in the mood for any surprise adventures today"...


Your sunroof gets stuck open in the middle of a monsoon and there's nothing you can do about it, but change your attitude to one that's ready to tackle an adventure. Our cars only do it because they have our best interest in mind. They're trying to make us better people. Aren't cars great?! And the very best part is the return on investment. The more you pay for your car, the more SURPRISE ADVENTURES you are likely to get!

Jake's car actually came with a bonus feature he wasn't aware of at the time of purchase. You see, over time, his car has begun to make music for him. It first started when his muffler started clanging out a beat. (It's practicing to try out for the drumline). And then, after a while, the suspension came in with a nice squeek on every eigth note. Now all Jake has to do is learn how to sing and he's got a self-made concert every morning and evening on his way to and from work. What a deal!

Speaking of deals (don't tell the dealership this but...), I really got a good one. When I got in my car for a test run before I bought it, I immediately noticed that it was a 'limited edition'. You see, my car has themed dashboard lights!!! I have one that looks like the Tin Man's oil can (from the Wizard of Oz.)  

And I have this this one that is Superman themed (he's faster than a speeding bullet).  

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And I haven't quite figured out what this one is from yet, but all I know is it comes on when my tire pressure gets low. It's as if the air particles in my tires are screaming, "Hey! We're getting lonely in here!"

I really pulled a fast one on the dealership getting this one off the lot.

For those of you who don't know, Jake and I live in St. Louis Park. The great thing about living in SLP is that cars never break down on Sundays, which is why not a single car shop is open on Sundays. We're just that good! I feel bad for all you "we're open even on Sunday" car shop people. Maybe come check out SLP if you get a chance.

So the next time you're wondering what you should do with your weekend or your day off of work, instead of going to the movies or cleaning the house, consider buying another car. Like I said, you'll get more entertainment out of it than you'd ever expect and it will last for years to come. This is one product that is sure to over-perform!

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